[ The Waiting Game ]

It has been a while. I didn’t plan to finish on the last post but every time I came back, it seemed like such a perfect pause, I didn’t want to disturb it. I am also aware that most people who find me are looking for answers to their own fertility problems and I wasn’t sure how to be the woman with three kids talking about how hard it is not to be able to have children.

I have been talking about it though. In January, I was on Ireland AM on TV3 talking about older women and IVF.

In April, I participated in an Irish Times articles on miscarriage.

In June, I was interviewed for an Irish Independent article on AMH testing.

I have also done a couple of radio interviews and maybe a few other things I have forgotten about.

So I am still here and still thinking about infertility, if not in the middle of it myself.

In fact, I have a work in progress, something big and exciting, that I will tell you about very soon.

In the meantime, hello and welcome back!!!

I was on Prime Time on RTE1 tonight. I was talking about the ruling in the frozen embryo case that was before the Supreme Court today.

Mary Roche appealed to the Supreme Court after losing her High Court bid to use her three frozen embryos after she split up with her husband. The Supreme Court ruled that her husband was entitled to withdraw consent as there was no explicit contract between the spouses. It also ruled that an embryo is not afforded any legal protection under the Constitution until it becomes implanted in the uterus.

You can watch here.

I spent this afternoon recording a show on infertility for The Morning Show on TV3, to be broadcast at 11am next Monday 15th June. Also on the show are fertility expert, Zita West, and Sarah and Bob Keating, who have been TTC for two years.

Update: The show is here. I am on from 20 minutes, although Sarah and Bob and Zita West, who are on before me, are well worth a look.

I have also written an article on infertility for the Irish Independent magazine, which I think is due to run tomorrow (Saturday 13th June). I will update with a link if it is in tomorrow.

Update: This will be in next Saturday’s (27th June) Irish Independent magazine.

I was on Ireland AM on TV3 yesterday. It was a last-minute thing so I didn’t get a chance to tell anyone. The topic of discussion was older women and pregnancy, given that a 66-year-old woman is set to become Britain’s oldest mother. But mostly we talked about infertility and I was pleased to find a sympathetic, understanding approach in presenter, Sinead Desmond.

Baby is fine. Good scan today. I won’t use the word “relax” just yet, as it is impossible to do so with two kids, work, morning sickness and total exhaustion but those same things mean that life is good and the outlook is optimistic.

I was on the Seoige show on RTE1 last Wednesday (Wed 19 Nov – about 28 mins in).

Last Monday the Irish Independent reported that a Galway fertility clinic was refusing to treat unmarried couples. David Quinn of the Iona Institute was on to argue the case that married couples make better parents than unmarried ones and therefore should be the only recipients of fertility treatment and I was there to speak for normal people.

Infertility is a medical condition. It is not up to doctors to choose which patients they treat on the basis of their own religious beliefs or morals. If you think children’s lives are at risk from their parents’ marital status then outlaw it completely. Don’t pick on those with physical disabilities and make examples of them. Just cos you can.

Incidentally, these are the same doctors that won’t prescribe the morning after pill for women who don’t want a child, yet refuse treatment to those that are desperate for one. Guys, a little consistency is needed here if you want to be taken seriously.

According to today’s Guardian, couples with no fertility problems may be opting for IVF to cut out the time and hassle of babymaking. One of these couples may be Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt who, apparently, didn’t have the time or patience to try the usual way. It is possible that this trend may be encouraged by fertility clinics that aim to improve their success rates by treating fertile young couples instead of infertile old crocs.  This may be happening at a clinic near you, “although no one can put a figure on this phenomenon”.

What I would like to know is, where are these magical clinics where you can get an instant appointment and then get pregnant, almost guaranteed it seems, on your first go?

Gerry Ryan show went well today. You can listen here.

I will be on Ireland AM on TV3 tomorrow morning at 9am. I’ve been told not to wear black or white. Hmmm, nearly all my maternity clothes are black. Think I will have to race out and get something quickly. See you later!

I was going to give you a report on last night’s shenanigans but I much prefer Darragh’s version of events! Lovely to meet you Darragh and thanks for the kind words.

Thanks to everyone who came along and to those of you I met for the first time, it was great to put faces to names. I did feel a bit weird signing books, sorta like people were humouring me cos it was my party!

I’ve been doing a lot of media for the book this week. I didn’t post about it as I thought it was a bit “oooh, look at me” but hubby thinks people might be interested. So, there was a piece in yesterday’s Irish Times (subscription needed), I’m in this month’s PC Live! magazine, next month’s Image magazine parenting supplement, Woman’s Way magazine in a couple of weeks and the next RTE Guide. I’ve been doing the rounds of the regional radio stations last week and this and will be on Limerick Live 95FM (prerecorded) at 10am tomorrow morning, East Coast FM on Friday at 10am and Highland Radio on Monday at 12pm.

And last but not least, I will be on the Gerry Ryan show on 2FM tomorrow between 10 and 11am. I will be taking questions from callers so please call in with some easy ones!

Just to remind you all, my book is being launched TONIGHT!!!!! I got a copy of it yesterday and am pretty happy with it. I thought I might be afraid to open it in case all I’d see would be things I wanted to change but it went through a fairly rigorous proofreading process and we seem to have caught most things. So I actually enjoyed reading my own book! All the feedback I’ve had so far has been good and I’ve also had my first review – so far, so good.

So, maybe see you later!?!

I am gobsmacked at JLo’s recent People magazine article, via Julie.

Despite trying to conceive for several years, “I knew there was nothing wrong with me. I knew that I could. Deep down, I really wanted it badly…”

Unlike the rest of us who only want it a bit, Jenny’s faith, determination and general all-round perfection won the day. Despite trying for several years, she never once thought there was something “wrong” with her, it never entered her head that it wouldn’t happen. Well, if you weren’t convinced before that she is completely loola, here is all the evidence you need.

Hubby Marc Anthony’s reasoning for the twin pregnancy is even funnier than the “twins run in the family” excuse – he says that twins were inevitable because everything his wife touches turns to gold! Has he ever seen Gigli?!?

There is something wrong with JLo and MAnt. They tried unsuccessfully to conceive for several years. They are infertile. If their twins were conceived naturally, then they were dealt a really big slice of good luck, and not just because they wished really hard for it. A spontaneous pregnancy after 3 years TTC has about a 1% chance of happening each cycle. Of course it is possible but most people would describe in terms of a “miracle” and a “blessing”, as opposed to an inalienable right due to their own perfection.

And there’s the crux of the matter. Infertility is perceived in the media as an imperfection, in Jenny’s own words, something “wrong with me”. It makes her look old, weakened, more like us. Unlike the shot of “Jennifer and Marc clowning around with their $3,000 prams”. See, Jenny’s not like us, only good things happen to her. That is why she has $3,000 prams and we don’t.

I am going to preempt the “You can’t judge her, she has a right to her privacy” comments with this:

BOLLOX!!!! She has paraded her newborn twins in public for a reported $6m fee. She has put them on show, people are bound to ask questions about them because she has put them out there. Live by the media, die by the media.