Fiona McPhillips is a freelance journalist and academic researcher. Having given birth to her son in 2003, she then faced three rounds of Clomid, three IUIs, two IVFs and suffered six miscarriages before giving birth to her daughter last year. She is currently expecting
another baby.
I’m an infertile, get me out of here…..
God, this is not easy. Or maybe I’m just no good at it. Never was.
A heartbeat at 6 weeks does not mean that panic won’t set in sometime later. Morning sickness has been adequately awful, but what happens when it is not quite so bad one day? The fear. Still feeling ok the next day? Meltdown.
It was only a 2 day respite but enough for me to question everything I’ve learned in my 9 pregnancies. So I was almost shaking at today’s 9 week scan. All fine. Baby is measuring a couple of days behind but all completely normal according to obs. Heart is beating, growth is good since last scan. And yet I’m still thinking about the 2 days and what if it loses another 2 days by the next scan.
Maybe it’s just the tiredness and the sickness and the feeling that I couldn’t possibly be this lucky again. And the thought that I could be this lucky, it is so exciting and wonderful and I suppose it might really happen!
May 19th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
I’m delighted the scan went well. I suppose the worries will never go away until the 9 months are up, regardless of what your logical side tells you.
Stay well.
May 19th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
I’m with the pp, the panic never really subsides. Just try to contain it, and live in the knowledge that right now the baby is fine and growing away! Brilliant news really – remember that, and not all the other….
Might see ya friday if you are up to it (and the rain lifts).
Ex
May 20th, 2009 at 12:36 am
When things are normal, days slip by. But now? They must feel eternal. Glad to hear that this recent scan means that you have more days of anticipation.
May 20th, 2009 at 9:42 am
I know how that feels, having gone through a few losses myself. Right now, try your best to focus on the positive. The scan looked good, babs has a strong heartbeat and there has been a good amount of growth since the previous scan.
Having said that, if I ever get pregnant again, I’m sure I’ll be exactly the same as you. Pregnancy after pregnancy loss is never going to be a worry free one.
May 20th, 2009 at 10:34 am
I can imagine how nervous you are and I presume they will be scanning your regularly. Look after yourself, if you can keep concentrating on the future – 31 weeks is a lifetime yet it will go more quickly this time when you have Anna to look after as well as your son.
Thinking of you
May 21st, 2009 at 10:44 am
Thanks for the support guys.
May 24th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
I didn’t know you are pregnant again!:) Huge congratulations, hope you have uneventful and easy pregnancy! xxx
May 26th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Thanks seaflower! Hope you are keeping well.
May 27th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I called into my mothers this morning as I was early for work and she was watching Ireland AM – was delighted to see you sitting on the couch! You looked great, well done!
May 27th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
Hi Fiona, Ive been through misses also and attended napro for over a year and didnt result in any pregnancy ,so left and went with s..s, did ivf and got alot of eggs but had to freeze due to ohss risk, so doing FET next month. Just wondering with scans etc,where are you attending. I know the clinic looks after you until 12 wks and then over to hospital, but I would like to attend a hospital that are simpathetic to misses.
Thanks
May 27th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Sorry for not congratulating you, was watching you this morning and sussed there was something up,
I thought you werent gonna go again!!!!!
best of luck with your little bundle to be
May 27th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Thanks denzo! I was only asked to do it yesterday afternoon so didn’t get time to tell anyone about it.
Sal – sorry to hear about your miscarriages and your OHSS risk. It must be so disappointing to get to transfer and then have to delay. But hopefully one of those embryos will make it. Sims are great with pregnancy support meds – make sure you get as much as they will give you!
I am attending Landscape clinic in Churchtown. One of the two obstetricians, Gerry Rafferty, has a lot of experience with miscarriage and has worked with Lesley Regan in London. My own obs, Valerie Donnelly, is fantastic at giving me as many reassurance scans as I need – have had 2 so far and another one tomorrow. I’d recommend either of them. They both deliver in Mount Carmel. Sorry, don’t really know about outside Dublin. Very best of luck with the FET!
May 28th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Thanks Fiona, when had first 2 miss was with C and then changed to R asked for scan around 9 wks after 7 wk in epu and was told no that scanning can harm babies!!!!!!!
So went and got myself a private one and again my babs was dead ,just under the 9 wks.
So please god if all goes well, I am seriously considering a different hospital and a consultant that is interested in my history.
Sims have tested me for eveything NK cells ,auto immune etc, they are brill and am on all the support. Im just happy to be going ahead now and feel alot better, was sore after ec as had over 25 follicles.
Thanks for letting me know about Mount Carmel and your obes they sound great! I would love to stay with sims up to the end and avoid the hosp.
Thanks again:)
May 28th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
I’m sorry I missed this somehow. Thinking of you and I’m delighted for you. Keep well!
May 30th, 2009 at 8:21 am
Thanks Claire!
June 30th, 2010 at 10:35 am
due to modern advance in medicine, infertility could be a thing of the past.*”,