Fiona McPhillips is a freelance journalist and academic researcher. Having given birth to her son in 2003, she then faced three rounds of Clomid, three IUIs, two IVFs and suffered six miscarriages before giving birth to her daughter last year. She is currently expecting
another baby.
Secondary Infertility Network Group (SING)
I was so happy to receive details of this support group recently – would have loved to have been part of something similar over the past few years. It’s specifically for those suffering from secondary infertility, who may feel that they don’t quite fit in elsewhere.
The first meeting will take place on Tuesday 23 September in Dublin 3 and will be facilitated by infertility counsellor, Kay Duff. There is more info on the forum or you can contact Caroline Byrne on 085 7133130.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:58 pm
Nice one.
Well done to all involved getting it up and running.
September 6th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Thanks Fi for putting this up. Hoping to kickstart this secondary infertility group asap. The first meeting on 23rd Sept 7pm is with a view to discuss the the mission or goals of the group and to see what people want and what they are comfortable with.
So if you are interested or know anyone who might benefit from being part of a secondary infertility network please give them my details.
Thanks Caroline 0857133130
September 15th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Thanks Caroline – will pass on the info.
September 19th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Unfortunately haven’t received any calls about this so the meeting cannot go ahead. I spoke to all the fertility clinics and asked them to pass on this info, but they didn’t. Didn’t get the media coverage i was hoping for either. If you do know anyone who could do with some support who is going through secondary infertility please do put them in touch with me.
THanks
September 22nd, 2008 at 9:40 am
Very sorry to hear that nobaby, I think it could be a great resource – do you want me to post about the group on message boards?
September 26th, 2008 at 12:58 am
thanks for your honesty in your recent ‘how to speak’ blog entry where you talk about how ‘making it’ is what alienates one group from another. its so true, i guess if i had a darling baby to love and care for my searing pain over 4 years of trying to conceive would vanish whilst i tended to my new babys needs – but instead my lot – the inability to ever conceive makes me a ‘loser’ in the fertility ‘war’ and somehow im supposed to find the strength to get on with life. right now 6 friends, (well they are now ‘ex-friends’ cos I can’t bear to see their bumps)… are inadvertedly tormenting me with the only thing i want….. anyone else got any tips on how to cope. I feel so alone and empty
September 29th, 2008 at 10:09 am
nobaby – it breaks my heart to read your post. I was never very good at coping, I just threw myself into one treatment after another. And I wrote. The blogging network was a life-saver. But still every day was such a struggle and crying for hours on end was normal. It kills me when people say that there are a lot worse things in life than not being able to have children because not having my children would be the worst thing that could ever have happened. It really can be that painful and I can see that in your post. I hope you can find some way of coping, or better still, of getting what you want.
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:38 am
Hi Fiona,
Have read your blog several times and found huge hope and inspiration. However hope is in very short supply at the moment. Any tips? I can’t shake off a feeling of negativity a thought that keeps popping into my head is “I just don’t see it happening”. Did you ever find positive visualisation easy?
Never posted here before hope you don’t mind. I really really admire your tenacity, wit and honesty.
October 5th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Tea Lights – nice to meet you and so sorry things are not good for you at the moment. The only thing I found that helped at all was planning ahead – I would get my head around the next level of treatments, just in case the current one didn’t work. We also had our names on the adoption waiting list. So I would console myself with the fact that we would probably get a baby one way or another. I did write about how low our chances were and how it might not happen but I’m not sure I ever truly allowed myself believe it. Or if I did, I would banish those thoughts at the start of a new cycle.
It’s so difficult – hope can be your best friend and your worst enemy. I don’t know your personal circumstances but it does happen for most people eventually. Hope it is sooner rather than later for you.