Fiona McPhillips is a freelance journalist and academic researcher. Having given birth to her son in 2003, she then faced three rounds of Clomid, three IUIs, two IVFs and suffered six miscarriages before giving birth to her daughter in 2008. She went on to have another son in 2009.
Prison break
They always say “just take a break”. I always thought there were no breaks, that once you got on the TTC train there were no stops until the labour ward. I was wrong. As you thunder past the IUI station on the way to IVF, there is a short stop called BCP (birth control pill). You can get off and stretch your legs and try to forget about that bloody train and its bumpy ride.
There is no chance of a baby this month, no point in trying. No point in measuring out the days of the bleed, watching for changes in CM, putting our lives on hold waiting for the big O. No point in mourning the past cycle as we wait for the next one. No temping, no charting, no pee sticks, no hoping.
It’s such a relief.
I feel like I’ve been released on bail. Due back in a few weeks, but for now I’m going to do some work, maybe some writing, file my tax returns, do some household chores. Normal things like normal people. Things other than TTC.
I’m taking one day at a time. Not going to worry about what’s ahead for now, I’ll let the clinic deal with that. Just going to enjoy this time out with my family and appreciate life as it is.
January 29th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
It’s a good feeling isn’t it?
January 29th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
People often wonder why we don’t ttc between IVF cycles. When there is little hope of doing it naturally I enjoy the fact that we are NOT ttc when we are not cycling.
Enjoy the respite.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:45 am
hmmmm I left a comment last night that doesn’t seem to have made it in…
not to worry, just wanted to say it was great to see you posting and I’m delighted you’re enjoying the respite!
as they say “it’s all ahead of ya!”
love ya
D
February 3rd, 2007 at 2:54 am
ITS great to have the pressure off isnt it . hope you are coping, with the rest, cometimes i find it hard to have nothing on my mind or in the pipeline if that makes since. by the way did i see your son in artane castle today could have sworn it was him. think i might be pregnant if thats not too personal, its been a year tomorrow since i got pregnant on my last miscarriage. am terrifed and pleased at the same time, mind you if i am and if it was a horse race i wouldnt bet on my success rates. better go cause i just read this back and it sounds so awful ger
February 5th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Ger – congratulations! I really hope everything works out for you this time and don’t forget to keep me updated.
We have never been to Artane castle! I do often wonder though if people recognise him from his photos online.
February 5th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
feebee, im glad you werent offended that i thought isaw him, he has a twin though. false alarm, think im losing my mind
February 6th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Ger – if you ever see him again, please come and say hello!
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