They always say “just take a break”. I always thought there were no breaks, that once you got on the TTC train there were no stops until the labour ward. I was wrong. As you thunder past the IUI station on the way to IVF, there is a short stop called BCP (birth control pill). You can get off and stretch your legs and try to forget about that bloody train and its bumpy ride.
There is no chance of a baby this month, no point in trying. No point in measuring out the days of the bleed, watching for changes in CM, putting our lives on hold waiting for the big O. No point in mourning the past cycle as we wait for the next one. No temping, no charting, no pee sticks, no hoping.
It’s such a relief.
I feel like I’ve been released on bail. Due back in a few weeks, but for now I’m going to do some work, maybe some writing, file my tax returns, do some household chores. Normal things like normal people. Things other than TTC.
I’m taking one day at a time. Not going to worry about what’s ahead for now, I’ll let the clinic deal with that. Just going to enjoy this time out with my family and appreciate life as it is.