I will be on a panel to talk about blogging and books at the Irish Blog Award Book Event tonight. Also on the panel will be Sarah Rees Brennan, Twenty Major, Ivan O’Brien and Mags Walsh. It’s at 7pm at the Teacher’s Club at 36 Parnell St, Dublin 1. Not sure what a panel is or does but we will be drinking wine and talking about blogs and books.
I will not go back there.
I will not go back there.
I will not go back there.
Period arrives on Valentine’s Day.
Every night for the past five and a bit years, I have checked on James before going to bed, to make sure he is still breathing. Every night I feel the usual relief, give him a kiss and off I go. Then I check on Anna (still in our room). Once again I feel relief when I see her chest rising and falling but then something else happens. I feel a little thrill of excitement and then I get giddy. Sometimes I giggle, sometimes I jump up and down. Every night I get this rush of…..I’m not sure what – happiness? joy? innocence? She is still here, yes, there is definitely a beautiful, breathing, live baby in my room. We did it!!! Seven months on and I still get a buzz every time I think of that.
She is chatting (mama (this was her first word, at five months), dada, baba, anna, nana (technically the same word as anna)), sitting, not rolling or crawling, obsessed with remote controls, smiling and laughing almost all the time (the only time she complains is when there is a remote control out of reach) and generally behaving very well indeed. She doesn’t sleep through the night (wakes 2 or 3 times for a breastfeed) but she does eat everything she can get her hands on (brussel sprouts, yum yum!). I am used to the painful process of mealtime with a fussy eater so am overjoyed to have a food-compliant baby.
I’m not going to lie (I was going to but decided not to!), I do think constantly about trying again. I think about how far I could go, how much I could put my family through and to what extent it would be worth it. I also think about the fact that I probably won’t have another child and I think I could come to accept that. Not when I hear pregnancy announcements obviously – I still get in a strop about those and probably always will! But they belong to other people’s hopes and dreams. I have mine already.
As for me, I am a normal person now. Really. I look forward to social events, meeting friends, making plans, hanging out, going shopping, eating out, staying in. I’m cleaning up and I’m moving on, going straight and choosing life. I’m going to be just like you: the job, the family, the fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage, three-piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, to the day you die.
I have wanted to write about Anna for a long time now but for various reasons, it has not happened. I may post about her, and about the reasons I no longer post much, in the new year. For now, here are some of the highlights of her first six months.
Tomorrow we officially welcome her into the world. For the first time in ages (about six months probably), I am weepy as I think about what we went through to make her and how darn wonderful our lives have been since she arrived. Not a moment goes by that I don’t consider how much she (and my boys) means to me and how lucky I am to know her.
I wish a peaceful Christmas and a fertile new year to all.
Deno – how are you?
Last Monday the Irish Independent reported that a Galway fertility clinic was refusing to treat unmarried couples. David Quinn of the Iona Institute was on to argue the case that married couples make better parents than unmarried ones and therefore should be the only recipients of fertility treatment and I was there to speak for normal people.
Infertility is a medical condition. It is not up to doctors to choose which patients they treat on the basis of their own religious beliefs or morals. If you think children’s lives are at risk from their parents’ marital status then outlaw it completely. Don’t pick on those with physical disabilities and make examples of them. Just cos you can.
Incidentally, these are the same doctors that won’t prescribe the morning after pill for women who don’t want a child, yet refuse treatment to those that are desperate for one. Guys, a little consistency is needed here if you want to be taken seriously.
Tired of waiting up to two weeks for your HPTs and OPKs to arrive from across the Atlantic? Want to pee on a stick NOW? HappyBumps.com is Ireland’s newest and cheapest site for HPTs and OPKs. It’s run by a couple of long-term TTCers so they won’t snigger every month when they receive your order for 50 HPTs. Was delighted to see that they sell the peestick addict’s favourite, the dipstick. Not that I am currently peeing on sticks. No, really, I mean, just cos I do a few tests now and again, it doesn’t mean anything, I could stop any time I wanted…..
I will probably be peeing on sticks long after all the cool kids have stopped. Sigh.
For those of you in the Tullamore area, Deborah has news about a local fundraiser.
Fabulous evening of fun and pampering at the Bridge House Hotel in Tullamore. For only €15 treat yourself to a night out with mini-pampering sessions, a glass of wine and a goodie bag including treats from Clarins, Clinque and local businesses. Sample Spicendipity brownies, handmade chocolates, spa treatments whilst checking out the latest in local styles and fashion. Tuesday November 18th from 8pm to 11pm.
All money raised goes to Mucklagh and Ballinamere National Schools.
As tightening our belts becomes a national pasttime, please spare a thought for those who are suffering the cutbacks the most. Kate sends out a cry for help to save St Catherine’s EDC, a “special school” that has helped give her son a better quality of life.
Please stop by and help in whatever way you can.
Now, if the government could spare some of the €6-8bn they have put aside as a dig-out (aka the Homechoice Loan) for their mates, the property developers, then St Catherine’s could be in with a chance. Find out more about how to stop this potentially illegal scheme at the Property Pin.
For all my little ones…..
I was so happy to receive details of this support group recently – would have loved to have been part of something similar over the past few years. It’s specifically for those suffering from secondary infertility, who may feel that they don’t quite fit in elsewhere.
The first meeting will take place on Tuesday 23 September in Dublin 3 and will be facilitated by infertility counsellor, Kay Duff. There is more info on the forum or you can contact Caroline Byrne on 085 7133130.