I got embroiled in a heated online discussion recently. The gist of it was whether or not people should turn off pregnancy tickers when posting on an infertility message board – I’m sure you’ve seen it all before. One of the comments stated that I was a hypocrite trying to speak for infertiles when I have two children. I get that. I really do. No matter what I have been through, I have made it. And making it is what it is all about, it is what alienates one group from the other.
Since I have had Anna, I have realised even more how awful my life would have been never to have had her. And then some days I find it hard to remember exactly how painful it was before, how much of a struggle it was to get through the days.
So, should an infertile survivor have any role to play in the infertility community? In the general public as an infertility commenter? I’m not looking for supportive comments saying “After what you’ve been through…” etc, I am really just interested in people’s views from both sides of the divide as to how they perceive those who have had children.
I should add that I have spoken to this commenter and completely understand where she is coming from – not everyone will know my history (why should they?) and will see someone with two children talking about how awful it is not to be able to have children.