Baby A is alive and well.  She is still a girl.  If she turns out to be a boy, I will just pretend she is a girl as I am looking forward to dressing her/him in pink, flowery summer clothes.  Sure it will just toughen him up, along with the name “A”, which is not very masculine.

Baby A is almost 5lbs and is now head down, after being breech for the last six weeks.  I had discussed the possibility of a section (if still breech) and an induction (if not) with my obs but, as everything looks good, I think I will just wait and see what happens.  Maybe we will get that “Honey, I think it’s time!” moment after all.

Once again, I am looking forward to giving birth.  I had a horrible induction on DS but I survived and, because I’m convinced things couldn’t possibly be as bad again, I am relaxed and excited.  And I know that, as soon as that first pain begins, I will be less than two days away from the day we have been waiting for for over three years.

I haven’t kept much of a record of this pregnancy as I haven’t wanted to boast, complain, seem complacent or forget where I came from. Physically, it has been plain sailing, at least since about week 16 when the sickness eased off. Emotionally, well that has been a mixed bag. Most people would talk about “when” I had the baby; I always stuck with “if”. But now I can’t think of any reason to presume my baby won’t make it. I’m well aware of the stats, I know what can happen. But I am also aware of the reasons why bad things happen and, as I am being carefully monitored, I know that I do not currently fall into any of the risk categories.

I would say that somewhere around week 30, I started expecting a baby. Now, at 33 weeks, I am starting to gather baby things together, just in case she comes early – as opposed to, just in case we are fortunate enough to end up with a baby. The fear, the absolute terror, of loss is still in my mind but it has been pushed into a corner by the overwhelming anticipation of joy.

I can’t believe I’m going to have a baby!!!!