I am sick. Since Wed I have been feeling so terribly nauseous that I can’t concentrate on anything else. All I can do is get through the day minute by minute and hope for a lull so I can get some work done. It eased up a little over the weekend and of course the familiar dread took advantage of the gap in my attention to make itself know again. So for now, horrible as it is, I am very happy to be sick. It’s not that I think that strong symptoms guarantee a healthy pregnancy – I know well that they don’t. It’s more that when I am sick, I have no time, space or energy to worry about anything else. And I would rather feel like shit than feel the fear.
Today is International Baby Loss Awareness Day. Anyone affected by pregnancy or neo-natal loss is invited to join in the “wave of light” and light a candle at 7pm.