All I want for Christmas

All the good news in blogland recently has been making me weepy. Of course it would probably make me weepy in a different way if I wasn’t experiencing some good news myself but I’m sure we all understand how that goes.

I can’t believe I’m part of the gang. Pregnant I can do but second trimester? Am I really going to be one of those bloggers that gets a happy ending?

Everyone I started out with has a baby now. I stopped reading, many stopped posting and I gradually removed them one by one from my links. Same happened to my second batch. Then I slowly came across a group of women who seemed to be in the same shit state as me – endless failed treatments, multiple losses, failing ovaries and advancing years. I love these women – I didn’t even unsubscribe when some of them became pregnant before me! But not everyone gets a happy ending or even a happy beginning. My Christmas wish is that at least all of us will.

Today is my due date for my first IVF. That means My Reality is dealing with a similar date around this time. I wish I was having my babies today and I wish we had never plunged the depths of despair that we have this year. But how can I complain? I have got a happy beginning, if not yet a happy ending. I get to approach Christmas for the first time in three years with hope and happiness.

I’m not sure what I’m trying to say, just wish I had a magic wand, that’s all.

22 Replies to “All I want for Christmas”

  1. FeeBee,
    wishing you and babs a safe, happy & healthy Christmas. You deserve each and every moment of joy right now, as does every one of your Gang. So sorry it had to be this way.

    Let us know when you get that magic wand!

  2. I love this post, really love it. If I’d have thought of it I’d have said the same.

    I wave my imaginative magic wand and wish US all a happy ending, all together or at least one after the other.

    It’s the least we deserve for all our perseverance and pain. Stubborn I’ve been called once or twice, glad it’s true!



  3. Feebee, thank you for your kind words and for not forgetting about us gals who have not been as lucky. But I always try to look at these situations as HOPE for all of us. It CAN happen even to the ones that they say haven’t a chance in hell. I truly, truly believe that timing is everything and that if a child is to come to us it will make it’s way no matter what. I have had 5 mc’s all around 10-12 weeks my most recent in September. I have a wonderful son who is 5 1/2 and he is the light of my life. I consider myself one of the lucky ones. Even after all the loss and pain I still have my son to hold at night. But your story gives me great hope at a time when I had really decided to stop trying for number 2. I wish you the most perfect deserve this. I also wish all the women on here who have yet to have a child the miracle of life very, very soon.

    Peace, Denise.

  4. Feebee,

    Thank you so much for remembering. I have watched some of the babies born to bloggers who cycled with us. It is bittersweet. It reminds me of what could have been.

    I am happy that you are well on your way to bringing home another child.

    And again, thank you.

  5. Aww thanks for thinking of those of us still deep in the trenches, Feebee. I’m in tears after reading that post. Our due date for the baby we lost in May is 21st Dec, and compounded with the anniversary of our first miscarriage last week, I’m approaching Christmas with a huge sense of sadness.

    Although on a more positive note, we had our first appointment with Napro people last week, so hopefully they will be able to reach some sort of diagnosis that is treatable. Otherwise I really don’t know how much more of this we can go through.

    So keep waving that imaginary wand, and a very happy ending to you too!
    Jane x

  6. Denise – have you had extensive tests? Has anything ever been found? Have you been to see Lesley Regan in St Mary’s in London? I never believed that miscarriages “just happen”, not that many of them. Do you have a doctor that you trust? I hate the thought that some people give up just because their doctors stop trying to discover the problem. I hope you have a good Christmas with your son and I hope you get to hold number 2 next year.

    My Reality and Jane – hoping so much for both of you that things work out very soon.

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